ARTICLES

Get a Mommy Meal Plan from CNY Doulas

 
Monday, March 06, 2006
AMBER SMITH

HEALTH NOTES

What to get for the mom who has everything? Or the mom-to-be who has everything from her baby registry?

Doulas of Central New York now offers Mommy Meal Plans. That's in addition to the birthing assistance and the pregnancy support they provide.

Scroll through their menu offerings at their Web site, www.doulasofcny.com, to find 21 meat entrees, plus nine vegetarian entrees, 14 side dishes and eight homemade desserts. Make your picks, and they make and deliver the meals (Saturdays or Sundays) in freezable/microwaveable containers.

You can get five meals for four people for $125, or other combinations including two meals for two people for $30.

"We know it's going to help moms feel less overwhelmed and feel better about their routine," says doula Chris Goldman.

Do you have to have a newborn in order to use this service?

No.

Anyone can place an order. Learn menu options at www.doulasofcny.com  and then call Goldman at 315-455-6MOM.

CHILDBIRTH IS A MESSY BUSINESS...written by a fellow Doula

 Childbirth is a messy business.   Both men and women must be prepared for what's to come. During labor the water (amniotic fluids) might break, she might pass her mucous plug (an egg yolk-like substance); there will be blood and often fecal matter during the actual delivery, and did I mention she might vomit? Recently, an article in the New York Times discussing the negative reaction of a father-to-be in the delivery room sparked a heated discussion in a Doula group, addressing every birthing woman's fear: Will he still find me sexy after he sees me spread-eagled with a baby coming out from down there?  Many of my clients have expressed similar concerns and have told me of an urban legend where the husband refused to have sex after he witnessed his wife giving birth.

In the past forty to fifty years, the role of the father-to-be has gone from the waiting room to the delivery room, with the help and encouragement of luminaries such as Bradley and Lamaze.  Birthing has become a new and exciting ritual both parents share, bonding them to each other and their child more then ever before.  Most women adore having their men by their sides in this circumstance; it makes them feel secure, supported, and at ease. All modern men are expected to rejoice at being part of the birthing experience and to feel they are finally an integral part of the parenting equation.  But is that fair? Not being able to handle the intensity of labor does not make a man less modern, or involved (even as a Doula it took me at least two births to get used to the smells and sights of labor.) True, once the baby's head peeks through there is nothing more beautiful and miraculous, but it takes a bit to get used to all there is to see.  Besides, men are needed in the delivery room for emotional support, not to deal with a woman's bodily fluids, and we should respect that.

I strongly suggest that couples address the subject early on and be open to listening to their partners and allow them to voice their concerns, fears and/or preferences.  After all, men can still be in the delivery room, speaking gently to the birthing mother, even coaching her during contractions, leaving professionals such as nurses, and midwives to attend to her down there. A fellow Doula shared this birthing story, which shows how sometimes, by allowing our partners to express their preferences, we give them permission to change their minds and enjoy the process.  This is Aileen and David's story: When I was pregnant with my first, Sophia, in 1999, my husband and I had friends (another couple with one child) who so kindly shared with my hubby that if he "looked down there while the baby was coming out" it would change his sexual feelings towards me. Well, David shared this with me and I became enraged. How could he change his mind about seeing the baby being born because of that very immature comment? David had told me that he would rather not see anything, because he could see the truth in what his friend had said to him.

We argued about it for a while but then I just said -- fine. I needed -to respect his feeling. He was going to be at the birth, he was just not going to be "looking down there". I never brought it up again. I labored for about a day and a half and by the time we got to the hospital I was 10 cm and ready to deliver. It was the middle of the night so it was only the two of us, the midwife, and the nurse coming in and out. David was at my side when the midwife asked him to help me hold my legs. In that position, David leaned over to "look," I was petrified and tried to stop him, but he said "Honey, it's OK. You are so beautiful. I can see the baby!" And he saw the birth of our first daughter and he remembers that day as one that is full of beauty and love. It did not change any of his feelings for me.

What I learned is that if we love our partners and show them respect and give them some space, when it comes to the birth process, they will grow and learn. My second birthing hurdle with him was getting him to agree to a home birth.  He finally did and he now says he would not have wanted it any other way. The birth of Amelia at home in the water was awesome! Marriage, partnership, and parenting should be built on compromise, understanding, and reciprocal respect, to assure longevity and success.   We need to help our male partners come around gently into the very intimate realm of the goddess, with all its wonders and all its intensity.

Tick, Tock

How do you know when it's the right time to have a baby?
Wednesday, September 07, 2005
By Tasneem Grace Tewogbola

Staff writer

Some children don't come by stork, but by surprise. Before there's even time to open a baby fund, daydream about names or decorate nurseries, parenting sneaks up and forces life changes.

Others plan their parenthood. Before they enter the world of onesies, diapers and bibs, they ponder, "How do I know if I want children?" And the bigger query: "How will parenting transform my life?"

To help the planners among us, we talked to parents about how having children affects intimate relationships, physiques, time and friendships. Intimacy

"When there's no kids around, you're still kind of dating," said Rick Bartell, the regional director for Outreach & Education at Planned Parenthood of the Syracuse/Rochester region. "Then suddenly there's so many other things to worry about and think about." Things like, "Will the baby go to daycare? Or should I stay home from work?" Parenting, he said, brings an attitude shift. "The one thing that changes is the whole idea of self. When you have children you become less self-centered."

Bartell, who became a dad in his early 30s, said he was ready to be a family man yet realized that the path to parenting is not the result of preparation but "a leap of faith." Like the big one he and his wife took when their first son was born and cried steadily during his first week at daycare. Out went plans to be full-time working parents. Instead, they developed a budget and a schedule to care for their son at home for a year together. Bartell telecommuted part-time and his wife taught part-time. "You both," he said, "have to be holding hands when you make the leap." Physique

Chris Goldman doesn't see the lingering "pregnancy pouch" with the regret some women do months, or years, after giving birth. She calls it "a reminder of the blessing you have." That reminder may also cause some women to rethink their fitness standards. If you're committed to keeping a taut tummy, understand that reclaiming your pre-pregnancy body can take time, and for some women a lifetime.

For Goldman, the co-owner of Doulas of CNY and 42-year-old mother of five, committing to fitness in the broad sense was more realistic. Her goal, she said, is to "maintain good exercise and nutrition" rather than trying to shed all evidence of maternity. "I tell everybody it took nine months for your body to get that way. Give yourself nine months to adjust to the baby, then you get into an exercise routine." Time

Before Tammy Ragonese became a 37-year-old mother of four, she was a software engineer. She was also a woman who decided to work part-time when she became a first-time mom at 28. But then she learned baby No. 2 was on the way and "the more I saw them grow, the more I wanted to be there for every moment I can be." So she went back to work and told her supervisor she wouldn't be returning ever. It was, she said, "the hardest, tough thing I had to do." That was six years ago; she's been home ever since.

There are moments, she said, when she craves personal time to be away from the kids and in the company of adults. Ragonese found balance with MOPS Mothers of Pre-Schoolers a mother support group that meets at her church in Liverpool. And she finds spouse time to be precious, hard-won time. Going out with the clan can be chaotic, she said, so alone time comes after bedtime or during the school year when her oldest two are in class and she and her husband, Dan, can have lunch dates. "Last year," she said excitedly, "my parents watched the kids and we were able to take a short cruise." Friendships

Want to know if your friendships are solid? Bartell said having kids, before your friends do, is the ultimate challenge. "It taxes relationships and it tests them," he said. "Neither position is bad, it just is."

While some pals may grin at the chance to become a non-biological "Auntie" or "Uncle," others may prefer to keep the relationship where it was before parenthood: centered on self-satisfaction. Goldman said after motherhood she made friends in mothers group, with people with the same interests and priorities. "If you're really good friends with someone," she said, "they try to help along the way. All of sudden you realize life is not just about you, it's about your legacy. Ragonese agrees that like minds find each other. "Once you have kids you get involved in so many other things like playdates in your neighborhood and storytime at the library. You can't expect it to be the same (relationship) as it was before you had kids."

Doulas ease labor's pangs

Their training helps give guidance to women during pregnancy and childbirth.
Sunday, August 07, 2005
By Sapna Kollali

Nicole Roberts expects to have her third child sometime this week, and her husband, Rick, is pretty sure this will be the easiest labor yet for him.

Nicole Roberts has been working with birth Doula Susan Taffe for the last few weeks, and her husband is glad for the added emotional support in the delivery room.

"With the first baby, you were screaming at me a lot. You didn't really want help," he said to his wife. "I didn't want that emotional abuse again. I think it's good the doula will be there to take that, and I can enjoy things a little more."

Doulas are professionally trained, nonmedical people who provide physical, emotional and informational support to women and their partners during pregnancy and labor, to make the experience as comfortable as possible. Typically women, they meet mothers-to-be during their pregnancies and are bedside during the birth, helping both parents to enjoy the event, said Taffe, a senior at Colgate University.

After a stressful experience six years ago with Sophia's birth, the Roberts' second baby, Joey, 2, was born so quickly that Rick and another Doula who they worked with throughout that pregnancy couldn't make it to the hospital in time. This time, Rick and Nicole, of New Hartford, both hope to be more relaxed.

"It's not like I am a high-risk pregnancy or I feel like I have to have a Doula," Nicole Roberts

said. "But everyone can use the help. I want Rick to be able to enjoy it, too."

Roberts is one of about nine mothers who have used the free birth doula services Taffe, 21, has offered this summer through Hamilton Obstetrics and Gynecology. She already has helped five mothers give birth during the 11 weeks she has been working, and she expects three to four more babies to be born by the time her program ends Aug. 26.

Taffe is the first doula to work in the Hamilton clinic, the only ob-gyn clinic in town, said office manager Gina Wotasek. Colgate spokeswoman Caroline Jenkins said Taffe is the first summer Upstate Field School Program participant to work as a doula.

"I'm having too much fun doing this," said Taffe, a music and Native American studies major from northern Pennsylvania. "I'm really interested in birth and the birth process, and I just think it's amazing to be present for the most important time in a family's life."

Taffe said she really has no set agenda during her home visits with mothers-to-be, all of whom live in Madison, Chenango and Oneida counties, and are all patients of obstetrician John Bowen and Community Memorial Hospital in Hamilton. Some mothers she only sees once or twice before the delivery and others she sees once or twice a week, she said.

Sometimes she and the moms walk or swim, sometimes they just talk, she said. She has even been over to a family's home for dinner and accompanied moms on doctor visits, watching their other children during the exam.

"It's really about what they want to do, their goals for their pregnancy and birth. My job is to support their decisions and help them have a better experience," she said. "We don't take the place of the partner or anyone who would normally be there. We're an extra support."

She said she also does not replace any prenatal or birth education classes, which she encourages her mothers to take.

Taffe said her own mother had a "bad labor experience, and I've always wished she had a better one." Taffe was born through Caesarean section.

But it wasn't until a few years ago, when Taffe was on a study program in New Mexico, that she learned about doulas and was interested in becoming one. A member of the Eastern Delaware Indian tribe, she said her tradition does not make use of doulas or midwives anymore.

She went to receive training through Doulas of North America.

"This isn't really something new. Women have been supporting other women during labor for generations. No one learned. It was just something that women knew," she said. "I want to try to teach women of my tribe to become doulas and bring that knowledge back to them."

Chris Goldman, co-owner of Doulas of Central New York, based in Syracuse, said it is unusual for someone as young as Taffe to be training and to be so involved in Doula services. But, she said, it is a growing profession.

Co-owner Julie Crosby said there are about 4,000 Doulas certified through Doulas of North America, including four in Central New York two in Syracuse and two in Oswego.

"I think people are really starting to see the benefits of having additional support," Goldman said. "The mothers are able to relax. It cuts down on labor time. Their partners are able to enjoy the birth more because they don't have to remember every little thing for the mother."

Seminar nurses mothers-to-be, gives voice to speechless babies
 

By Anne Roth / Special to The Citizen
Sunday, July 24, 2005 12:35 AM EDT

 
 

SKANEATELES - Eat two eggs and drink a quart of milk a day.

That's the diet advice expecting mothers learned Saturday, among a slew of other lessons about pregnancy, during an inaugural mother's fair.

Dr. Lisa Homic of Auburn, a specialist in chiropractic, organized and presented Pregnancy Retreat and Mommy Fair Saturday at the Skaneateles Community Center.

"The creation of life is beautiful," she said. "It is meant to be a memorable time for the mother and her family. The information shared during this seminar is intended to remind us of our natural instincts and to remain confident in them while we enhance the experience of birth."

The retreat and fair was a first-time event that will hopefully become annual, Homic said.

Another component of the day-long retreat and fair was nutrition, as prescribed by Dr. Thomas Brewer in his Brewer Pregnancy Diet. His advice: expectant mothers should eat two eggs and drink one quart of milk each day.

Homic said she discovered the diet online while she was pregnant with her son, Erine Robert Keegan, who is now 1 1/2 years old.

"I was not giving myself and my baby what was needed," she said. "Once I was consistent with the Brewer Diet I felt better within days. My aches and pains were gone, my energy and mood improved and I was confident I was taking care of my baby."

Julie Crosby was at the retreat and fair to acquaint attendees with her organization, Doulas of Central New York.

"We mother the mother; we take care of the new mother through pregnancy and birthing and post-partum. We support her emotionally, whether it is fear or change. We go to their home in early labor, stay with them and continue in the hospital, providing comfort and emotional support. After the baby is born we help them with breast-feeding," she said.

 
 

Rebecca Rodriguez of Syracuse, now in her second pregnancy, said a Doula was most important for her.

"My husband is in the Army; he was in Iraq when my first child was born. My Doula was with me during the entire birth. With a Doula, you're not alone; she calmed me; I was very grateful to her."

Doulas, Crosby said, can also help in the home after a birth by providing housekeeping services, meal preparation and care for other children that may be in the family.

They even have a meal service plan.

Sarah Dadey of LaFayette introduced the program she represents: Baby Signs, a sign language program for hearing babies.

"It is a parent education program for babies 6 months to 3 years of age," she said.

By learning simple signs, babies can tell their moms, dads and caregivers their wishes before verbal language has developed. According to the organization, by participating in Baby Signs, frustration is decreased and babies learn to talk sooner.

The program is also used by adoption agencies when babies come to the United States from non-English speaking countries, Dadey said.

Other information available at the retreat and fair included Reiki, treatments and classes to provide relaxation and harmony during pregnancy and after birth; the use of oils for cleansing, healing, soothing and lifting spirits; massage; acupuncture; hypnotherapy; midwifery; and Best Beginnings, a mother's information exchange that meets 10 a.m. to noon the third Tuesday of each moth at The First Presbyterian Church, Skaneateles.

Many new moms don't recognize depression

Monday, May 02, 2005
AMBER SMITH, Post-Standard, Syracuse, NY

HEALTH NOTES

Most mothers-to-be have nine months to prepare for their baby's birth.

When the long-awaited day arrives and they become mothers, some feel overwhelmed. They are irritable. They can't stop crying. They don't feel connected to their babies.

"A lot of women struggle and don't realize they're suffering from postpartum depression," says Kim Masterpole, a counselor with Crouse Help People, an employee assistance program in Syracuse.

Actress Brooke Shields didn't recognize her postpartum depression, but she knew something wasn't right after her daughter Rowan was born in 2003. Shields details her journey through postpartum depression in "Down Came the Rain," (Hyperion, $23.95) a memoir set for release Tuesday. She's also scheduled to be on the "Oprah" and "Today" shows, and in a cover story in Good Housekeeping.

It's an aspect of motherhood that affects many women. Up to 85 percent of new mothers experience some type of mood disturbance, mostly the transient and relatively mild "baby blues," but 10 to 15 percent experience the more disabling and persistent postpartum depression or psychosis, according to the online medical text  www.emedicine.com.

Shields overcame her depression with medication and psychotherapy.

Masterpole says postpartum depression may be triggered by the tremendous hormonal changes that accompany childbirth, but it's treated like general depression. Exercise can help, connecting with people in similar situations can be beneficial, and the spouse or partner plays a crucial supporting role.

She says research shows that postpartum depression hits women of all ages, cultures and social classes. But Chris Goldman says older mothers having their first child tend to be at greater risk, partly because their lives and careers may be more established, and thus a new baby is more disruptive. Goldman is a Doula, trained to provide prenatal education, labor support and postpartum care.

"I had somebody tell me a couple weeks ago, 'I didn't think it was going to be so hard,' " Goldman says of a client who was almost 40 and didn't comprehend the change a baby would have on her life.

Even if you know what changes to expect, Goldman says a new baby can be overwhelming. She's a mother of five. "Facing my last one, I was very overwhelmed," she says. "My mother-in-law wanted to get me help, and I said, 'No, I've done this before.' A week later, I was calling her back."

What can women do to avert postpartum depression?

First, if you have suffered depression, even seasonally, let your health-care provider know, because that puts you at higher risk.

Next, Goldman suggests listing five ways you believe your life will change with the new baby. Postpartum depression is often accompanied by a feeling of being overwhelmed by the responsibilities as a new mother, so Goldman says to evaluate what you have written and think about where you may need support. Maybe it's with household cleaning. Maybe it's with sibling care. Consider your and your partner's strengths, and that will help you understand where you may need help.

As a Doula, much of Goldman's time is spent helping new mothers during the postpartum period. She may prepare meals and help with newborn care, giving the new mother a break, so she can shower or run errands without the baby.

It helps relieve the feeling of being overwhelmed and alone - and that can help alleviate postpartum depression.

Thanks for article about the 'baby blues'

To the Editor:

Your recent article on moms and depression hit home for this new mom.

My husband and I trained for the arrival of our first child this past year: books, healthy diet, prenatal yoga; hire a doula; birthing classes; talk with other moms and dads; you name it, we did it.

All this training helped to prepare us; but it could not stop the "baby blues" that hit (for me) during the first couple of weeks after our son was born.

I could not look at anyone without crying. We laugh about it now, but at the time I felt alone. I thought I would never leave my room again. But I did, of course.

I had a wonderful support system (including my husband, family, friends, and Doula Chris Goldman) to help me get through the delivery and post-partum days. We new moms share our birthing stories and then later, the strategies of dealing with our children. Yet we are often reluctant to discuss the blues that can come with the incredible experience of having a child. When we leave this out of conversations with our girlfriends, we may end up thinking it must "just be me."

I have found that as I share my story of the post-partum blues with other new moms, they open up with their own story of the baby blues. Thank you for shedding more light on this issue.

Jill Murphy

Post Standard, Syracuse NY

Having a Baby? You Can't Go Wrong with a Birth Doula

Studies show that having a Doula leads to shorter labors and fewer interventions.

By: Diane Bush

Birthing babies is no easy task. And each time, for each woman, there's really no way of knowing how it's going to go. But what if throughout labor and delivery, a woman could have a certified Doula (CD) by her side, offering reassurance, support and in-depth knowledge of the birth process?

A Doula, Greek for "woman's servant," is a complement to any coach, father, partner, or medical personnel participating in a labor and delivery.

The Certified Doula is a childbirth professional who never leaves your side no matter how long you labor. She is a warm, caring, and devoted woman who understands your needs, fears, and experiences as you labor. She is a guide, who supports and encourages your spouse's involvement and participation in the birth, yet does not interfere in the intimacy between you.

A Doula does not give medical advice, diagnose conditions, or perform medical procedures.

Throughout Central New York, Doulas have served a variety of women: those who want pain medications or epidurals, teens, single mothers, cesarean section candidates, victims of abuse or rape, candidates for natural, non-medicated births, and prison inmates.

"Birth Doulas are wonderful. I think they're great," says Dr. Robert Silverman, obstetrician and director of Maternal and Fetal Medicine, High Risk Obstetrics at Crouse Hospital in Syracuse. "It helps to have the continuous presence of someone trained who understands the birth process to offer reassurance to the mom and dad as they go through the labor and delivery."

Studies show that having a Doula leads to shorter labors and fewer interventions, such as Cesarean sections and use of forceps. Doulas decrease the need for pain medications, epidurals, and labor-inducing medications. Women who have used a Doula report greater satisfaction with the labor and delivery experience, higher incidences of breastfeeding success, and fewer incidences of post-partum depression.

"There's a real place for birth Doulas. I would like to see them as a regular occurrence," says Marguerite Wachunas, RN and Coordinator of St. Joseph's Birthplace in Syracuse. "They're fairly new in the Syracuse area these last couple years, and at first I thought they would take over, but they don't. They are an excellent support for a birthing mother and her partner, coach, or spouse."

Many women are under the impression that once they begin laboring at the hospital, some professional, whether doctor, nurse, or midwife, will be present at all times until delivery. But shifts change, duty calls to others, and phones ring that must be answered. The Doula is there for the duration and has no other client but the laboring mom.

Laura Spanfelner, of Camillus, chose to use a Doula the second time around even though her first birth was without complication. "I can tell you that comparing birthing with and without a Doula, I wouldn't give birth without one."

Merri Welch, of Watertown, who used a Doula for her third birth, agrees. "I lost my first baby, and ended up with a C-section with the second. For my third, I knew my husband wasn't cut out for handling the stress alone. I also wanted to attempt a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean), and I knew I would need the extra support to pull it off. I was really impressed with my Doula. I labored 19 hours and she never left my side. Not once. I don't even remember her eating."

Fathers give Doulas a thumbs-up, too. Larry Welch, husband of Merri, remembers, "It was frustrating to watch the woman you love going through the pain of childbirth. You feel so helpless. But the Doula offered me reassurance that the baby and my wife were ok and that things were progressing."

Steve Adams, of Minoa, a skeptic at first, says that having a Doula "turned out to be a blessing. Until we had Annabel, I didn't even know what a Doula was. Now I know: indispensable." He and his wife, Melissa, wound up unexpectedly delivering five weeks early.

Most Doulas try to meet at least two times with the pregnant woman and her spouse before labor and delivery. During those meetings they discuss each person's wants and needs for the birth (and may assist with a written birth plan), take the couple's medical history, and offer birthing classes. From the time the Doula is hired, she is at the disposal of her clients: she'll answer their questions, assuage their fears, educate them, and encourage them. "How often we see them really depends on the couple," says Christine Goldman, CD, of Doulas of CNY in Syracuse. As a result, Doulas often take on fewer than three clients per month.

They also make sure to have a back-up Doula in place, although none of the Doulas interviewed ever needed to use one.

When labor begins, the Doula will come to the couple's home or meet the couple at the hospital and provide immediate comfort and reassurance.

To make mom more comfy and speed the labor along, "I try to get the mother up and moving in the early stages of labor," says Goldman. She gives massages and performs acupressure, suggests different positions, and uses guided imagery, the birthing ball, aromatherapy, the bathtub, or a hot shower to help the woman through the difficult parts of the labor.

She also keeps those who don't know what to do busy, and watches for when a couple needs private time.

"At first I was afraid that she would make me uncomfortable, but she never invaded my private space. She seemed to sense exactly what I needed when I needed it, without taking over my husband's role. And when he wasn't sure what I needed or what he could do, she guided him," says Carla Rodman of Baldwinsville, who had a difficult first birth and used a Doula with her second and third births. Now Carla and her husband can't imagine birthing without a Doula.

The Doula is also there to support the supporters and will run errands for ice chips, water, and food, bring Dad coffee, videotape the birth, or snap photos.

She reminds the couple of their needs and wants (as might have been written in a birth plan or discussed), keeps the couple informed, and advocates for the woman's rights.

Post partum, the Doula returns for an in-hospital or in-home visit to check on the family, answer any questions, reflect on the birth, and allow the parents to evaluate her.

Most Doulas in CNY charge a flat fee of $300 or offer a sliding fee scale based on ability to pay. Insurance companies generally do not cover this expense, but none of the Doulas interviewed would refuse service to any woman who couldn't afford it. All of the families interviewed agreed that the value of the service far exceeded the cost.

"Doulas are called to serve women," says Laurie Rushkin, a Certified Doula from the Buffalo area, "It's not a money-making business. Birthing is a spiritual event, and with each one we make a connection."

According to Doulas of North America (DONA), the national organization of Certified Doulas, certification requires participation in an intensive two- to three-day seminar, and includes building skills in relaxation, breathing, positioning and movements to reduce pain and enhance labor progress, massage, and other comfort measures. Prospective Doulas gain experience through work and education in the maternity field, observation of childbirth classes, and background reading. They must pass a written exam or essay and submit positive evaluations from clients and medical personnel before certification is granted.

You can find a Certified Doula in your area by logging on to DONA's website at www.DONA.org.

"You know, way back women always took care of women in the birth process. Then it became very medical," says Kathleen Ruggio, L. P. N. , Hypno-Birthing Childbirth Educator, and Certified Doula from Birth Journeys in Oswego. "Now it's cycling around again. Today, women can have the best of all worlds: sound medical procedures, advanced equipment, skilled health professionals, and women taking care of women."